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| | Merlin's Poetry | |
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Guest Guest
| Subject: Merlin's Poetry Sat Nov 14, 2009 2:23 am | |
| Lunis and Solis:
Long when the silence of the light reigned And southward winds blew in vain, The princess of night unashamed, The Prince of the light her hand he did gain, Lunis her crown and Solis he so claimed, Their love so pure and cool as rain Hearts of modern light know their fame For all souls could see the flame Sparked between their ancestors ancient blames As kings long past sing their names Lunis and Solis of the realm of the Arcane
Solis, heir of the sun and Prince of the Light Met the elusive Lunis, Princess of Night Her hair so black and soft, eyes so bright, Like sapphires that shine in the ancient moonlight Fair pale skin shimmered in quite a sight, A gown of midnight blue and wove of starlight Ribbons of crystal flowed down her back like a kite, Such beauty for Solis to contain his delight His parted golden hair of topaz and same eyes Fine untanned skin ever so smooth and slight Shimmering down his back a cloak draped of white As tunic and trousers affirm his plight And golden bird guarded sword expresses his might
Upon entering the forest where day and night meet The Lovers crept on silent feet On sight their eyes clashed the others did greet Beauty and serenity came in their beat As Solis heart proclaimed a feat Captured in lust and love the two embraced in serenity’s sweep As their souls and hearts worshipped without bleed Darkness overtook the land upon the lover’s absence Death filled the streets with little chance Hope prayed to arrive in the Prince and lance The hourglass soon filled with sand Upon news reaching his glance The Prince rode in earnest with his heart enhanced The safety of her beloved Lunis did chant Solis on steed aflame met death with cold steel and left his brand Yet, the Prince escaped not without a dance Of death that throbbed in his body and he did not prance
To Lunis Solis did return and she wept his wounds and heart For she felt as if she were stricken by death’s dart Solis with head laid on her lap did die a martyr Lunis opened her lungs and then sang like a lark Her song so beautiful and sad awakened the slumbering world’s heart The land looked on as the princess as tears fell with no end but a start Long poured out Lunis’ lament as the sun set on her heart
A final tear shed from her eyes As the land slowly felt of ice That night she finally took her life For to be with love it has a price With her ever so powerful sacrifice She had created Day and Night Solis and Lunis tale will continue by light As their hearts throb as one in the Night |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Merlin's Poetry Sat Nov 14, 2009 2:27 am | |
| An introduction to my poetry, comment as you wish, if you seek to flame, then be prepared for shame. |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Merlin's Poetry Mon Nov 16, 2009 5:50 pm | |
| Ok no offense Merlin but your poem is a little out dated in the language department don't you think? The story is good but the language you use makes it hard to keep focused. I'm not trying to be mean or anything I'm just saying. |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Merlin's Poetry Thu Nov 19, 2009 9:28 pm | |
| No, I do not think so. This is my style, I do not criticize yours, this is the language in which the true masters of poetry wrote, deny it if you want, but any educated person studying english or language in general would understand that, if you want to see a true masterpiece than read shakespeare, and such work as mine is not supposed to be easily comprehended, many poems have hidden meanings. Perhaps you are just frustrated because you do not understand it, but if you mean no offense, then speak no ill-will of one's work, "why try to remove the speck from my eye when you have a log in yours?" |
| | | Chocolate Chip Cookie Grand Editor
Number of posts : 323 Registration date : 2009-06-10
Character Name: Krypta Age: ? Race: Pixie
| Subject: Re: Merlin's Poetry Fri Nov 20, 2009 1:00 pm | |
| Yea that is Merlin he is like that.... But it is a very good story..... | |
| | | The Dark Lord Happy Pantz Grand Editor
Number of posts : 1511 Age : 33 Registration date : 2008-05-05
Character Name: Turin and Allie Ryuu Age: ??? and 18 Race: Dragon
| Subject: Re: Merlin's Poetry Fri Nov 20, 2009 2:53 pm | |
| - Merlin til Erethil wrote:
- No, I do not think so. This is my style, I do not criticize yours, this is the language in which the true masters of poetry wrote, deny it if you want, but any educated person studying english or language in general would understand that, if you want to see a true masterpiece than read shakespeare, and such work as mine is not supposed to be easily comprehended, many poems have hidden meanings. Perhaps you are just frustrated because you do not understand it, but if you mean no offense, then speak no ill-will of one's work, "why try to remove the speck from my eye when you have a log in yours?"
actually, she was not criticizing it, she was merely stating an opinion that might have been useful later on. however, if you want to be technical i guess you could call it criticism only not so negatively....a "constructive criticism" if you will | |
| | | Guest Guest
| Subject: Re: Merlin's Poetry Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:23 pm | |
| - Merlin til Erethil wrote:
- Perhaps you are just frustrated because you do not understand it, but if you mean no offense, then speak no ill-will of one's work, "why try to remove the speck from my eye when you have a log in yours?"
Trust me I can understand what you are saying. I never said I didn't understand I said it makes it difficult to keep focus. I wasn't speaking "ill" of your poem I was simply stating an observation I had made. In my opinion your poetry would be more enjoyable to read if it wasn't written in the older language. Yes Shakespeare wrote in that language he was also from that time. Look at some of the great authors from your time; Shel Silverstein, Robert Frost, anyone more modern than Shakespeare they all write with the language from their time. |
| | | Raiga Olir Members
Number of posts : 475 Age : 33 Registration date : 2008-05-01
Character Name: Cala Rive Age: looks 30 (is immortal) Race: Elf
| Subject: Re: Merlin's Poetry Mon Nov 23, 2009 4:31 pm | |
| OK, I'm going to head this off before we get to far off topic. Let's just say that Merlin chooses how he writes and leave it at that. To each their own, as a wise man once said. Cattie-Brie, I know that you may have a harder time keeping focus due to Merlin's choice of writing style, but let's not have this get out of hand. He write's as he pleases much the same as we write as we please. Let's just leave it at that. | |
| | | Blackwolf Wannabe
Number of posts : 1 Age : 28 Registration date : 2009-11-24
| Subject: Re: Merlin's Poetry Wed Nov 25, 2009 4:32 pm | |
| I liked the poem. . .It was a little dark but that is perfectly fine. . .I like that it is also a mythos in itself. . . | |
| | | luna Newb Members
Number of posts : 176 Age : 31 Registration date : 2008-09-04
Character Name: Angel Age: 17 Race: Human
| Subject: Re: Merlin's Poetry Wed Nov 25, 2009 10:05 pm | |
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